“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” Viktor Frankl

Last week I was looking at an email on my phone while stopped at a red light.  All of a sudden I heard ferocious honking and a woman yelling. Thinking that the woman in the minivan next to me needed help, I rolled down my window.   I soon realized after she threw a few f-bombs and other no-so-nice words in my direction that she was upset with me for looking at my phone. Although I had put my phone down, she continued with finger pointing, threats to call the police, and more screaming.  Inside myself I said, “God Bless You”, rolled up my window and was on my way after the light turned green. She continued to honk and yell at me until I turned onto another street.

At the time this happened, I felt compassion for this woman who seemed to be incredibly upset.  Perhaps she had been in an accident because of cell phone distractions.  Or maybe she was just having a bad day.  Who knows?  All I knew was that her upset AT me did not have to cause upset IN me.  As I drove away I maintained a feeling of equanimity inside myself despite her actions.  Now, because I know me and I am familiar with my old patterns, I can honestly say this was a relief to experience.  I don’t know about you, but I really don’t like to be yelled at – especially when I believe I haven’t done anything wrong.  My ego has also enjoyed being right in the past that has led to defensive behavior.  If this same incident had happened years ago I would have probably either yelled back or pulled some kind of passive aggressive move like smiled and waved to show her she wasn’t getting to me (even though she was).

Fortunately I’ve had years of practicing letting go of being triggered by the actions of others. Many “aha” moments have shown me that non-reactivity is essential to my peace of mind.  I am aware that I cannot choose how people treat me but I can choose how I respond to their actions.  I have learned that equanimity (meaning “evenness of mind especially under stress”) comes from choosing (more…)

Hey everyone! We are almost to the end of the first month of 2012 and time continues to fly by. Last year was full of transitions and huge growth opportunities (translation: tough stuff) for many people. The good news is that 2012 will be a smoother ride for most of us – but it will be fast one. As the year continues to accelerate it is my intention to offer you more resources, encouragement and community.

Today’s UPdate is to update you on some new groovy things and ask you for your input. So I’ll get right to it because there’s a lot to share and if you just want to watch the video that’s cool too just make sure to check out all the links below. . .

First, you will start hearing from me a little more often. Each Thursday you will continue to get my weekly uplifting UPdate and a few times a month you may also hear from me on a Monday or Tuesday with a special announcement, invitation, free resource or a link to a juicy interview with other experts and teachers.

Second, when I find products or courses that I really love, I may send you a special email inviting you to check it out. Complete transparency: sometimes I earn an affiliate fee on the things I promote for others. Meaning, if you purchase something I promote, I may get some cash. If you ever do purchase a product thru me and you are not satisfied, I will return 100% of the affiliate fee I may have earned to you.

Third, look out for more courses and events from me! Highlights include: a telecourse Christine Arylo and I are launching with a FREE CALL in February that will teach you how to fall in love with your love life not matter what your (more…)

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.” -Frederick Keonig

Since I was a little girl I have wanted children. I loved playing house and had a collection of dolls that I mothered. By this point in my life I thought I’d absolutely have kids of my own . . . But I don’t. I have felt the longing for them, especially when my friends and younger sister gave birth and I witnessed them stepping into Motherhood. Along with all of the joy that brought me, it also brought up some feelings of sadness and thoughts like, “Will I ever have the experience of being a mom?” The more I thought those kinds of thoughts, which were creating the sadness, the more the longing became an ache that really hurt.

Until one day it finally stopped hurting. And NOT because I met the man of my dreams, got pregnant and became a mother. It was because I had an “aha” moment after an extremely powerful session with a client. As she was sharing about a huge shift she had, I was aware of how overcome I was in that moment with love. My heart felt so full. It finally dawned on me that I do “mother” already. Not in the sense of raising children of my own, but rather by offering my clients feedback, support, nurturing, encouragement, guidance and most of all unconditional love. The longing for what I (more…)

“It only takes one person to change your life – you.” Ruth Casey

Are you overdosing on self-help? This may seem like an ironic question coming from me since my passion and career is all about personal growth. But here’s the thing: I’ve noticed that a lot of people who embark on a journey of self-discovery often go through a phase where they start to OD on self-help.

When we embark on our path of personal discovery the coaches, healers, teachers, courses, seminars, programs and books we seek out are incredibly valuable (and necessary). They create a safe space for us to address and heal our issues, teach us how to reframe our limiting beliefs and create a container for us to reconnect to our Higher Self and The Uni-verse.  And once we get a taste of self-help most of us find ourselves yearning for more because it feels so good!

Personal growth is absolutely amazing and there are INCREDIBLE resources out there. I would not know how to stop learning and growing.  In fact, you’ll be getting an email from me next week telling you about a lot of cool new resources I’m offering this year.

AND I am aware from observing many people that too much self-helping can become a way to avoid being the truth of who you are and doing the things that are aligned with that Truth.

One of the very subtle misunderstandings that may show up when we start to “work on ourselves” is that there is always something to work on. In other words, sometimes we can become so fixated on wanting to fix, improve and heal ourselves that we get a bit addicted to self-help.  We run from healer to coach to expert to seminar to program thinking that THIS will be the answer and finally be cured of whatever it is that we think is wrong.

Personal growth resources help us wake up! They shine light on the Truth, help us resolve issues and (more…)

“Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” Franklin P. Jones

Are you reinvigorated and ready to make 2012 your best year yet? Perhaps you are three days into your new workout routine, diet, meditation practice or creative endeavor that you resolved to commit to this year. Awesome! I’m all for setting intentions and goals for the New Year.

AND I am for keeping things simple.

Sometimes we can get so caught up in the specifics of our goals and visions that we loose sight of the big picture. I bet that if you reviewed your wish list for 2012 you would discover that at the root of everything you desire is LOVE. You want the partner to love and be loved by. You want to do work you love. You want to share love through self-expression. You want to be financially stable so you can focus on giving and receiving love. All the experiences and things you long for come from a longing for LOVE.

But you do not have to wait for those things to manifest to experience the love you long for. Today I invite you to take a step back from your lists and vision boards and just focus on one thing: BEING LOVE. That’s it.

If you commit to being LOVE as your over-arching intention for everyday . . .

You would see everyone through the eyes of compassion and acceptance, including yourself. You would recognize your fellow classmates in the school of earth who are experiencing their own unique curriculum. You would see that you are no better or worse than anyone – the comparison game would end. You would see that we are all one.

You would truly listen. And you’d be listening from your heart rather than your head. You would not be judging, evaluating, (more…)

Because I know that you are eager students of life, I am kicking off the New Year with a pop quiz to prepare you for our super cool online course that begins in one week! Okay so maybe it is just the inner nerd in me who actually likes quizzes, but this will be easy, fun and even enlightening. Don’t over think the questions – promise I will tell you what this quiz is for once you finish. And since I don’t have a fancy system set up to electronically record your answers, you’ll have to do it the old-fashioned way and write them down on paper.

Ready? Begin:

What is more challenging for you?
1. Making a to-do list
2. Surrendering and going with the flow

When dreaming up your ideal mate and/or job, do you:
1. Make a vision board
2. Make a checklist

If you had a spare 15 minutes, would you rather:
1. Meditate
2. Catch up on all your emails

Someone invites you to Kirtan, do you:
1. Go in a heartbeat
2. Kirtan? WTF?

You have a big decision to make, do you:
1. Turn within, ask, and wait for guidance
2. Make a pro/con list

In a conversation with a friend, are you:
1. Listening more to the energy behind the words and simply holding a loving space
2. Thinking of what you’re going to say and what this person needs to do

When struggling with something in your life, are you more likely to:
1. Pray about it and let it go
2. Fix it and figure it out

Does your jewelry look like it’s from:
1. Tibet
2. Tiffany’s

Would you say your relationship with your finances is:
1. Problematic
2. Systematic

What would you like to learn about:
1. How to get things done
2. How to get out of your head

Great job! Now review your answers and total the number of “1’s” and “2’s” separately. The purpose of this quiz (more…)

Every year at this time I share my New Year ritual.  This is an incredibly powerful process that I have done the past seven years and shared with my readers and clients.  Over the years, I have heard of numerous miracles and success stories from people who have engaged in this process.  In fact just yesterday, I received the following email from Isa Adney who completed her very first book: “Christine, I made the resolution to write this book and make all of this happen after reading your UPdate about your new years tradition. The way you do new years was the way that really helped me make resolutions ACTUALLY COME TRUE! The formula you shared last year was so wonderful and I am so excited to engage in it again this week!”

This ritual does not involve making any kind of resolutions. Why? Well because resolutions are usually promises to do something “more, better, or different.” We vow to exercise more, get a better job, fall in love, or find a different way to handle our stress. But does this really do us any good? Most of us start the New Year with the greatest of intentions, yet by March (or even by the second week in January) we may not find ourselves so resolved. We revert back to old patterns and often begin beating ourselves up for not sticking to our resolutions. Could there be a way to ring in 2012 that serves us better?  YES!  We can resolve not to make any resolutions and instead engage in a co-creative process of reflection and intention setting.

This New Year’s ritual that I’m sharing with you will support you in letting go of the past and clarifying your focus for the future. I invite you to follow this process and amend it any way that inspires you:

1. On December 31st, carve out at least an hour of uninterrupted time for yourself. Get comfy, quiet, light a candle, perhaps put on some music. Begin by writing in a journal what I call your “Year in Review.” Month by month reminisce about events that happened, people you met, places you visited, lessons you learned, accomplishments, blessings, struggles, funny moments and so on. What is so great about looking at the year in this way is that you are able to notice how you have grown and express gratitude.

2. After you have gone through the year, consider the behavior, beliefs or habits that you’d like to leave behind. We all have our regrets and learning experiences, yet a lot of us tend to cling to them much longer than we need to.  On a separate sheet of paper, write down what you would like to leave behind in 2011. For example: being obsessed with an ex, bad eating habits, overuse of a substance, limiting beliefs, repetitive/disruptive thoughts, overuse of Facebook, consistent self-scrutiny, road rage, swearing and so on. When you complete this list, burn it or rip it up into tiny pieces to really get rid of it!

3. If you so choose, share your year in review with someone close to you. See what they recall, reminisce, and share a couple laughs.

4. Make a toast or light a candle to the end of the year. I encourage you to say a prayer of gratitude for 2011 and declare you are letting it go. At midnight on December 31st 2011, toast to releasing anything that no longer serves you.

5. On January first, begin to co-create/manifest 2012. Light a new candle, put on uplifting music, get comfortable . . . set the mood.

6. Find a blank sheet of unlined paper. As a suggestion, (more…)

This year for the holidays I wanted to be able to give you a present so I created an ebook especially for all of you that has been inspired by all of you. It’s called, “32 Days of UPleveling your Mind and UPlifting your Heart: Extraordinary Life Lessons From Ordinary Situations.” This ebook is a collection of some of my favorite weekly updates that I’ve shared with you over the past several years. Each one has been selected and edited to offer you an extra dose of daily inspiration.

It’s super easy to download and there is a special letter from me to you at the beginning with encouragement on how to use the book.I had such a blast putting this together!  Enjoy it and feel free to share the link to the download with your friends and family.

Wishing you a happy, healthy, and FUN holiday.  Remember to pay attention to all the blessings that already are.

Click here to download your ebook

With love,

Christine

“If you are lonely when you are alone, you are in bad company. Jean-Paul Sartr

“All of our unhappiness comes from our inability to be alone.” Jean de la Bruyere

Being alone. It can be a wonderful time to recharge, relax and just be. And it can also feel really lonely.  Many of my clients this week have been dealing with feelings of loneliness so today I feel called to offer some ways in which you can shift how you experience being alone.

The truth is we are always alone and never really alone.  I realize that may sound confusing. We are always alone in that even when we are with other people we are 100% solely responsible for our experience.  No one can “make” us feel any certain way.  On the flip side, we are never really alone in that we are all connected on a Universal level.  One of the ultimate Truths is that we are all One and each one of us is also connected to a Higher Power, which makes it impossible to ever truly be alone.

The experience of loneliness is based on the misunderstanding that we are separate and that being with another would “fix” the ache inside.  What we are most longing for when we are lonely is the connection to that feeling of Oneness. When you feel lonely, having someone else there seems like the solution; however, the solution really lies in reinterpreting your experience of being alone and finding ways to feel connected both to yourself and to Spirit.

Now you may be asking, “How do I do I feel connected when I feel totally alone and disconnected?”  Sometimes the experience of loneliness can feel so painful that connection seems almost impossible.  If that feels true for you, here is a four-step process you can use to support yourself in relieving feeling lonely:

Step One:  Indulge.  Throw yourself a pity party – but only for ten minutes! Allow yourself to cry, feel sorry for yourself, entertain all the reasons why you are alone, fantasize over what would make it better, etc.  Really go for it, get all the yucky feelings and judgments out by writing them all on a piece of paper and then destroying it.  Give yourself the opportunity to experience the pain of your loneliness knowing you only have TEN minutes to indulge.  Once the timer goes off, the pity party is over.

Step Two: Investigate.  The negative feelings that come from being alone stem from what you are telling yourself when you are alone.  Investigate your thoughts and judgments.  What are you making being alone mean? I assure you that what you are telling yourself about being alone is what is causing your suffering.  As you realize that you are the one making alone mean something that triggers pain, you will be ready to make it mean something different. You may not be able to immediately shift the physical experience of being by yourself; but you can change your perception of it.

Step Three: Inspire.  Loneliness can be a heavy experience and your energy often becomes stagnant when you’re in it.  Find something that feels inspiring to you to begin uplifting your energy. Listen to song that inspires you, read a book that comforts you, or do something creative to tap into your own inspiration.  Being inspired also will support you in feeling connected to a Higher Power.  Look closely at the word INSPIRE and you’ll see “IN SPIRIT.”

Step Four: Initiate.  From a place of inspiration, rather than desperation or separation, initiate some kind of action that aligns you with feeling connected.  Take some time to meditate or pray to support you in your awareness of Oneness and deepen your connection with yourself.  Get out of your house and head somewhere like the grocery store where there are other people around. Initiate conversations with strangers. Or perhaps reach out to a friend or family member – but remember your (more…)

“We are not permitted to choose the frame of our destiny. But what we put into it is ours.” Dag Hammarskjold

“Destiny itself is like a wonderful wide tapestry in which every thread is guided by an unspeakably tender hand, placed beside another thread and held and carried by a hundred others.”  Rainer Maria Rilke

“A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.” Jean de La Fontaine

You cannot screw up your destiny.  It is impossible to miss out or mess up something that you are meant to experience.

Hopefully this is reassuring to you.

It may be especially reassuring if you are agonizing over a current decision or over-thinking a choice you already made.  Fear of “choosing wrong” keeps you in states of limbo or regret – ug, who wants that? If you truly had faith in the knowing that you cannot screw up your destiny, would you trust your choices more? And could you free yourself from paralysis by analysis?

Now you may be asking, “What about free will?  Don’t we have that?” Absolutely we do!  Having choice is what is so fun about being human.  But what is not so fun about being human is not having faith that every choice we make is the “right” choice. Trust me, there are no “wrong” choices.  There are simply consequences of each choice that shapes the manner in which our destiny unfolds but truly cannot screw it up.

We think in life there is some “there” we are supposed to get to or some “something” we are supposed to do or some “someone” we are supposed to meet.  We then believe that our destiny is defined by the there’s, something’s and someone’s. And if we don’t choose right, we’ll miss out on the there’s, something’s and someone’s.

Perhaps a more helpful way to perceive destiny is that is encompasses all the things we are here to learn in life. From everything I’ve studied, been taught, observed and experienced in my own life, I trust that we all come into life with our own unique curriculum. So our destiny is more about what we are here to learn rather than getting to a there, doing a something, or meeting a somebody.  The people we meet along the way and situations we are involved simply serve as teachers that help us learn and experience what we are destined to learn and experience.

Your life curriculum is a guarantee.  You haven’t and you can’t mess it up.

But again, what about free will?

Free will shapes your destiny because the choices you make influence how and when you learn the lessons you are destined to learn and have the experiences you are destined to experience. For example, let’s say it is part of your destiny to truly understand and embody courage.  In order for that to happen, you will have to experience things that give you the opportunity to practice being courageous.  Your choices along your life journey will impact how that happens.  Maybe you will choose into a relationship that is difficult and you will have to find the courage to leave.  Or maybe you will be in situations where you choose to speak your truth even if it is not accepted.

Think of it like this: imagine that your life is a treasure map and the pot of gold represents what you are destined to experience.  The choices you make along the way simply impact the route you toward that pot of gold.  There is not just one route to get there – there are many paths that you could possibly take.  That means there are MANY choices you can make in your life, which will all eventually lead you to the same destination.  Free will just impacts the how and when. But you can relax in the knowing that you will indeed reach the pot of gold.

The Uni-verse is always looking out for you.  It will continue to send you opportunities to direct you toward your destiny.  And if you miss a sign, It will keep sending you more.   You are never off course.

Your own inner wisdom is your internal GPS so that you will never get totally lost.  Sure you may feel a bit disorientated at times, but trust that your Higher Self knows your destiny.  The more you are in communication (more…)