We all take life and ourselves a little too seriously. We get upset about things that really don’t matter. We also get super serious about our spiritual practice. But sometimes the most spiritual thing to do is too LAUGH.

I had some incredible reminders of the value of NOT taking things so seriously last week. Monday started with major tech glitches that threw off my schedule. Then a pipe burst in my bathroom that flooded half the downstairs of my place. Then I slipped on the kitchen floor on my way to shut off the water and hurt my back. Then I started laughing hysterically as I laid splat and soaking wet on my kitchen floor realizing both the humor and lack of control. I’m incredibly grateful to have come a LONG way in knowing that sh*t happens but we always get to choose how we respond.

Later in the week I was at a yoga class and the teacher spilled a grande soy latte all over her new iPad. Instead of freaking out and getting upset, she calmly wiped it up, had a fantastic LAUGH over it and went back to teaching/serving us. That is some authentic namaste.

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Are you too nice? That may seem like a strange question because most of us would think that being nice is a wonderful way to be. But sometimes we are too nice. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for being loving, kind and generous. Yet I’ve noticed that although niceness is very p.c., it isn’t always authentic.

We are often too nice when we want someone’s approval or acceptance. Or we long for someone to like us and think we are a “good person.” Or when we are in the presence of someone who intimidates us or is in authority position. Or when we just want to avoid confrontation. I’ve seen myself do this in romantic relationships, friendships and even business negotiations. The result? Externally I upheld the image of being a nice person yet internally I felt unfulfilled and like I settled for less that I deserved.

We think that being nice will get the acceptance, approval, validation, or peace we crave, so we repress our honest feelings and expression. Playing nice may seem like a good idea at the time, but if it isn’t real, it creates resentment.

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Growing up I had to be the smartest girl in class. I would spend hours on homework and get up at 6am to prepare for a test; anything close to a B was unacceptable. And the one time I did get a B, it was devastating. My obsession with getting top grades was not because I loved school or that my parents put any pressure on me.

I had to be the smartest girl in the class because that is how I compensated with also being the girl in the class who was teased and ostracized. To compensate for the insecurity I felt, I decided at a very young age that I had to be smarter than everyone else. My grades were the one thing I felt like I could control.

This began a long pattern of consistently putting myself in situations where I could appear smart. If ever in a situation where I didn’t know something, I’d pretend to know about it just to look smart!

I decided years ago to break free of my compensatory strategy of being a know-it-all so that I can actually learn, grow, and be vulnerable enough to truly connect with people. Now I consistently put myself in environments where I am around people who know a lot more than I do and I stretch myself by asking questions that may appear “stupid.”

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